simply me

soo now that i am at lmc i just found out from a friend that the new major i want to do which is sports medicine, i want to be those trainers on the side lines popping bones back into place and take care of other injuries idk after talking to my sister and how she did it in HS and how i love sports just seems right for me, but anyways i now found out DVC is the school that has the program. fml. gas is gonna be a b*** now. i swear i cant win. and right now i cant help but want more from life to be more exciting and rewarding and obviously if i want that to change then i have to be the change right? time to start changing.

i am done trying to be with you now. seriously. honestly you want to sit there and tell me this girl isnt a rebound is BS because one you only talked to this girl for three weeks seen her once at your college orientation in oregon never been on a date with her nothing and during those three weeks you were texting me too flirting talking sexual like asking to sneak over to cuddle and making plans to hang out with me. and then randomly ask this girl out, two when u finally go and visit her for four days you find out that she acts different around her friends and she likes to party alot( your an idiot going out with someone you dont know, and i find it funny how you try n defend her and say u do). okay so then thinking i had a chance i try again with you and you do nothing but defend her and then get mad at me and then when i tell you fine dont worry i am moving on i am talking to other guys then you get mad again so then i try and be with you, you tell me no move on. you know what i am done then because i know for a fact your staying with this girl to spite me and in the end your not gonna get what you really want deep down inside. and this girl will cheat on you since she likes to party alot and shes about to start college and meet soooo many guys. so yeah i feel bad for you but also i now think your soooooooooo fucked up because since you are doing this to spite me it means you just wanna hurt me and the fact that your using this poor girl. so i have come to realize i really really dont want to be with you anymore. and i am just gonna laugh when u come crawling to me when u guys break up and u see i am with someone else. honestly i just feel bad for you now. but this still hurts but i am done too.

you will regret this. and when she cheats on you or dumps you. iam just gonna laugh and say i told you so.

wow i havent been on this in months. but anyways i am sooo frustrated at my self.

idk what to do. we broke up and got back together twice. and the fact that he got a gf in 3 weeks hurts so much, obviously shes a rebound but still. everyone telling me to stop talking to him and give it time.. but i hate that, the time part.. i hate time. i am frustrated at the fact that i still care. i mean i am the one that broke up with him. but it was to protect my heart bcause he was going to an out of state college and i was just scared that he would cheat( he prolly would of to since his new girl is from the college hes going to) and look what happened it got broken. ironic right? i guess thats what i deserve…

i feel like i am one right now because i am doing the same thing as last time to you. i am sorry. i never should of given this a second chance..